I wish there were distinct rights from wrongs. I wish there were exact steps to life to follow. I wish I knew where I screwed up. I wish I had more materials than what is just given to me. I wish I could just restart the experiment all again. I don't want to keep settling for anomalous results and just constantly admit. I want results, proper ones. I don't want to keep having to search for explanation but to start explaining trends of true results.
I'm giving it all up. Because this just isn't right. I can't even bring myself to say I've regretted it. But instead, I wanted to know how you're feeling.
Suddenly waking up to day and asking yourself who am I. And the worse thing is you can't even find an answer to it. You try deciphering out yourself and you realize you can't even see the puzzle. You're frustrated because it's somewhere embedded in the back of your memories. Then again, maybe the person you once knew changed. And you can't even find a start to it.
What happened to me? I wish I could say I would like to drink it off now. But alcohol has been the roots to all my problems. It feels as though the tree has been already living for a hundred years. Too stubborn to move an inch and too selfish and taking up nutrients for its own survival.
Probably a hot chocolate in the cold dark night at the balcony sounds like a perfect idea for tears.
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